I am inspired by one of my cousins.
Months ago, I went to a family member’s wedding over in the United States.
Like most Hindu weddings taking place these days, there is a mix of tradition and modern influence. There is a colourful ceremony, taking many hours, with rituals all of us younger folk (and most older folk too) don’t understand.
Following this, comes grand celebrations that most weddings have in almost all cultures — the reception.
Hilarious and heart warming speeches, a dance performance with my cousin in front of the audience and, of course, the food, then the time comes to exploit the open bar.
Liquor is the choice for most except for one of my cousins, whom decided on a single coke.
And for that entire night, it was his fuel. He enjoyed himself, was active on the dancefloor, talkative as ever, and even made it to the end of the after-after party — all fueled by a lack of alcohol.
And by this I was inspired. You don’t need alcohol to have fun.
The following day I was welcomed by tiredness and a killer hangover, with patchy recollection of the night that been.
I did have fun, but my cousin’s actions has lead me to turn over a new leaf in my life: I want to quit alcohol for good. In fact, I want to reframe this, as is the title of this post, I want to have fun without alcohol.
To be clear, I am fortunate enough not to have a problem with alcohol. A single drink won’t lead me down a rabbit hole of over consumption. I don’t have an addiction. And I have significantly toned down my drinking since my twenties.
I don’t regularly go out on the weekend and get hammered. I don’t have the afterwork lonesome beer. And if I do go out for a “drink”, I usually opt for the non-alcoholic option.
Before I had this life catharsis, my recent rule was to drink only in special occasions — hence the wedding story. But I have made exceptions to this rule, for example, when I visited my workplace in Adelaide, to when I was offered a drink by my uncle.
But now is the time to completely stop.
We know that alcohol has negative impacts on health, which is one of the reasons to stop drinking all together, but the main reason I want to stop is for the reasons why I drank in the first place.
I was a late bloomer when it came to drinking. My first experience being halfway through my first year in university. I think a lot of people start a lot sooner, high school and even with their parents.
I was quite resistant to drinking in the beginning. I was quite shy and nerdy, and I was constantly barriaged by people in my hostel to start drinking.
Eventually, I caved. I enjoyed the validation I got when I started to drink — I felt like I could fit in.
Later on, I would drink in social settings to have fun (that’s what I would tell myself), but it was really a bandaid. Since I was shy, it helped me get out of my shell and talk to others. I also thought if I was drunk, people would like me more. To be honest, I didn’t like my drunk persona and I honestly I wish I could talk to people without the cruches intoxication provides.
It’s tough. Alcohol is truly ingrained in our culture. Don’t people think you are strange if you drink?
I am worried that when I meet “the boys” again, will I be pressured into drinking again? What about that uncle I was talking about or my boss? Can I keep this promise to myself?
It turns out people don’t care if you drink.
Since reducing the amount I drink, I feel a lot more comfortable ordering non-alcholic beverages without the worry of what others think.
I’ve gone to social gathers completely sober and I’ve even worked up the courage to talk to others and boggie on the dance floor too. So this is evidence to myself that I can have fun without the need to drink. And my futureself can thank myself — I might be tired the next day but I won’t be writing the day off by being hungover.
On a final note, I want to share my appreciation for my cousin who showed me that you can quit alcohol and survive. But I also I want to share this podcast by Sam Parr from My First Million, which made me want to share this idea with you all.